Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Path: mit-eddie!bloom-beacon!athena.mit.edu!sm
From: sm@athena.mit.edu (Sherry Modestino)
Subject: Another newcomer     
Message-ID: <1989Dec22.161344.16641@athena.mit.edu>
Summary: Hello 
Sender: news@athena.mit.edu (News system)
Reply-To: sm@space.mit.edu (Sherry Modestino)
Organization: MIT Center for Space Research
References: <CMM.0.88.630012920.egly@> <20940020@hplred.HP.COM>
Date: Fri, 22 Dec 89 16:13:44 GMT
Lines: 25



From out of one of the many corners, a fog drifts slowly towards 
the bar...a voice emerges, and a dollar bill, "A vodka and water, 
please."  Mike, non-plussed as ever, gives her (yes, it is a female
voice) a tall glass.  

She drinks slowly (it may be hard for fogs to drink) and when
finished drifts towards the fireplace...

Quietly, she raises her glass

"Sorry to be so undifferentiated, but it's been a busy time lately,
 and if I'm going to have a persona (that comes out in public), it's
 going to be a good one.  But I didn't want to leave without making 
 this toast."

     "To 1990, may the spirit of Callahan's invade the world!"

There follows a resounding crash and the fog drifts off in different
directions, as if distributing warm fuzzies around the room.


>>which to do first??? persona or sig file??  What a quandary....
			Live long and prosper...
Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!van-bc!ubc-cs!fs1!spring.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb
From: mikeb@spring.ee.ubc.ca (Mike Bolotski)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: A Food Fight
Keywords: <WARNING> TOXIC PUN FALLOUT
Message-ID: <882@fs1.ee.ubc.ca>
Date: 22 Dec 89 11:04:19 GMT
References: <8912190906.AA00640@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM> <6331@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu>
Sender: news@fs1.ee.ubc.ca
Reply-To: mikeb@spring.ee.ubc.ca (Mike Bolotski)
Organization: Dept. of Electrical Engineering University of B.C.
Lines: 24

In article <6331@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu> ez000691@pollux.ucdavis.edu (Shadow) writes:
>	Shadow can recognize a challenge when he hears one, and rises to the
>occasion with relish, without loafing around.
>	"Oy! I must have been nutty as a fruitcake to even get started...but,
>then, I always was a sucker for a good edible pun (You can really sink your
>teeth into them!). Nothing olive batter than an all-out punfest, you under-
>sand,wich is something a friend of mine was always fond of. Her name was
                                                    ^^^^
                                                    fondue?

>Trixie. She had radish hair, butter eyes were greens. As I recall, she made a
>good celery entering data on an Apple. Her boss, Waldorf, finally fired her
>when the office updated to IBM, and she never ceased complaining about how
                 ^^^^^^^
                up-date-ed?

English majors?

Fig-ures. :-)

Mike Bolotski, Department of Electrical Engineering,
               University of British Columbia, Vancouver, Canada 
mikeb@salmon.ee.ubc.ca             | mikeb%salmon.ee.ubc.ca@relay.ubc.ca
salmon.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb@uunet.uu.net| uunet!ubc-cs!salmon.ee.ubc.ca!mikeb
Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!HPLABS.HP.COM!egly%hplred
From: egly%hplred@HPLABS.HP.COM (Diana Egly)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: See you next year
Message-ID: <CMM.0.88.630359185.egly@>
Date: 22 Dec 89 19:46:25 GMT
Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU
Lines: 46

I shuffle in, this time wearing a tee-shirt that says, "San Andreas.  It's
our fault" and sweatpants, and carrying a christmas tin under my arm.
I open it up at the bar and it's filled with candy.

"I'm leaving for the holidays but I wanted to bring this first.
These are carmels -- honey, maple, and chocolate ones (pointing at
different ones).  And chocolate fudge.  Those are mints -- wintergreen,
spearmint, peppermint (pointing at different colored candies)."
And those (with a touch of embarrassment) are catmint for the feline
folks.  Guess I was thinking of the tabbifli when I made them.  Oh, yes,
save a couple of these chocolates for the Rev. Mom -- they're filled
with nutella."

"Well.  Eat up.  And I hope your holiday is a good one."

I speak with a couple of people here and there around Callahan's before I
leave for the holidays.

____________________________

Formal introduction:
Diana Egly. No persona.  Sometimes being human is enough.
Age 36.  Height 5'2".  Weight 135 pounds.
Hair - short, curly, light brown.
Eyes - brown, bespectacled.  My vision is at least as bad as Gilly's, so I'm
	really glad they've finally made light weight plastic lenses. 
	My glasses frames are pink, the lenses are lightly tinted pink.
	I wanted to see what it would be like to look at the world
	through rose colored glasses.
Undergrad degree in math, graduate work in cognitive psycholgy.  

Fantasia is my favorite movie, so I do enjoy classical music.  But I mostly
listen to women's music -- currently favorites are Holly Near's new album,
Sky Dances; it's the one with all the AIDS-related songs on it.  (And I'm
just as glad that I haven't heard her perform these in public -- music has
strange powers to effect me.)  And also, Chris Williams' Snow Angel album
(hard candy christmas sort of describes where I am this year...)
My hobbies?  People, politics, handcrafts, social action, volunteerism,
reading.  (And making candy???) Reading matter varies broadly; I can't say
that there's any single gendre that I'm addicted to.  There are a lot of things
that I used to do -- like play D&D and square-dance -- that I just don't
do any more.  But I'll listen with interest if you happen on one of those
topics.  I share my life with two cats, both of them black cats, and I like
talking about animals (I frequent rec.pets too).
Oh, yes, I'm a Quaker (Religious Society of Friends) and am heavily involved
in various Friends-related activities.
Path: mit-eddie!bbn!usc!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!jefyoung
From: jefyoung@pawl.rpi.edu (Jeffrey Young)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Do not open 'til 12/21
Summary: ..And a Warm Fuzzy For All
Message-ID: <-8?`4@rpi.edu>
Date: 22 Dec 89 21:13:31 GMT
References: <44986@bu-cs.BU.EDU>
Distribution: alt
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy NY
Lines: 41


    "Couldn't let this one get away without saying something..."
------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 The Unicorn-turned-youth (for purposes of holding a load of
Warm Fuzzies in his lap) smiles and blinks away his tears of 
joy.  "I guess I had to see that not one person who cares can 
ever be quite alone if he or she does not wish it....it's hard
indeed to see that when you are the one feeling alone, and
you feel abandoned...that's where it's great to have friends like
all of you to remind me that there's SOMEONE out there who cares.
  This" (he indicated the cake and the Warm Fuzzies with a toss
of his head) "proves that even one who thinks he is an outcast
has friends, be they in high places, low places, or somewhere 
in between...like Callahan's."
  
  He sighs again, smiling, and asks that anyone who needs a 
Warm Fuzzy to please take one, as he's got more than enough,
"...and, shared happiness is happiness doubled.."
 
   "To all of you who have made this place what it is,
and anyone and everyone welcome here, Bless you all...I mean
that from the bottom of my heart.  But I have to shut this
thing down, and hope to see you all again soon, next decade..
"
..and a last pun-wish to remember as you head home for the
holidays..
  
"Make The World A Less Decade-nt Place-- Spend Some Time
   With A Loved One...."

                               -Taldin The Blue Unicorn
                                 Defender Of Light
                                 Furry At Large 
                               (with a lot of Warm Fuzzies)

-- 
"You are blue, Unicorn.. the Blue of clear, cloudless days where
everything seems like it's going right and nothing could go wrong..
and the Blue of despair and lonliness." 
                                       jefyoung@pawl.rpi.edu
Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!columbia!cunixc!cunixf!shoulson
From: shoulson@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu (Mark E. Shoulson)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: bye for now... (WARM FUZZIES!)
Message-ID: <1989Dec22.151606.8725@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu>
Date: 22 Dec 89 15:16:06 GMT
Organization: Columbia University
Lines: 30


He dashes into the Place and orders a shot without even taking his coat off.

"Hey, all.  Can't stay long; about to go home for break.  I *dread* coming
back and seeing all the posts I missed (though I'll probably be on
periodically during vacation).  Just wanted to post a "have a good
break/merry Christmas/Happy Channukah (never looks good in English!)/
whatever" greeting.  Hope everyone's finals went/will go well.  So long to
all those who won't be returning; I'll miss you.  Try to get back here, at
least once in a while, by hook or by crook!

"It's been great talking to you all on irc and forum (I am known as yndrd
there) and here, and I hope to see more of you in the future.  If anyone is
in the NJ area (West Orange, to be exact), give me a call (201)325-1819."

With that, he slings off his knapsack, opens it, and startes distributing
warm fuzzies all over the room.  A merry free-for-all ensues.  Soon the
Place is quieter and the knapsack is empty.

But I have a warm, fuzzy feeling in me that tells me there'll soon be more.

G^is la revidon!

~mark
      o o     o   o             o o   o     o        o   o     o o          
              o                       o	o   o  	   o       o   	 o     	     
  o   o     o     o         o     o     o   o      o   	 o     o       	   

Mark Shoulson:  shoulson@cunixf.cc.columbia.edu   shoulson@cunixf.bitnet
                {...}!rutgers!columbia!cunixf!shoulson
Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!rpi!nisc.nyser.net!cmx!Wintermute
From: Wintermute@cmx.npac.syr.edu (Wintermute)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Newcomer's Toast
Message-ID: <2174@cmx.npac.syr.edu>
Date: 22 Dec 89 16:40:18 GMT
Reply-To: Wintermute@cmx.npac.syr.edu (Jim Brule)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Department of Redundancy Department
Lines: 64

{ The door opens, and a figure quietly slips in, nervous about making any
  commotion. As the door closes, Mike's quick eyes notice the figure's cautious 
  approach a tall frame belies what Mike's even quicker intution recognizes
  as an inner sense of smallness. A quick wink, a warm smile, and Mike 
  has welcomed another sojourner to Callahan's... 

  The newcomer edges unobtrusively up to the bar, melting into the space 
  before him. Mike moves equally slowly to serve him, pacing his motions
  to the newscomer's capacity for recognition. With impeccable timing, 
  Mike arrives to take his order just as the dollar bill touches the bartop.

  "A shot of tequila, please." The combination of resonance and hesitation 
  in the newcomer's voice is as incongruous as the mixture of 'tough drink'
  and polite request. "That dollar entitles you to a toast, my friend," Mike
  gently encourages, delivering the clear liquid. The newcomer gazes down,
  contemplating. "Thanks," he sighs, and turns to face the fireplace. 
  Patiently awaiting the right moment, he does not see Mike's careful high
  sign to the regulars. Soon, the conversation dies down, and Doc pipes up,
  "You look ready to make a toast, sir; have you something in mind?" The
  newcomer takes a deep breath, makes a last survey of the room, and takes
  a nominal step forward. }

"Good evening. I'm known as Wintermute, a name which perhaps carries more
than originally intended, but appropriate nonetheless. I've known of 
Callahan's for years, but only discovered the location a few days ago.
And at just the right time...

"Almost two decades ago, just after high school, I happened to have an 
experience that I wish on none of you, though I know some of you have had
the misfortune to share. More than that I cannot as yet say, other than
I have tucked that experience away with such skill and precision that even
I was unaware of it, or its quiet, insidious effects on my relationships
with others - or lack thereof.

"Recently, events conspired to revive the memories of that event, and for
a while, scenes from it played through my sensorium like a deranged MTV..."

  "Sounds redundant to me!" quipped Fast Eddie.
  "Ssh!" warned Doc.

"S'OK," Wintermute smiled, "my sense of humor has stood by me, at least!

"In any case, there I was, feeling the walls of the shell which had held
those memories, and Chaos knows what else, inside begin to crack, and to
tell the truth," his voice quivered, "I wasn't sure just _what_ would
burst forth, or if...."

Wintermute seemed to shrink as his voice faltered. Doc moved towards him,
but Mike waved him off. Wintermute raised his head, his eyes brimming with
tears, and started again.

"Or if there would be anything recognizable left once it was through...
For a while, it seemed as though the waters of my being had been 
irrevocably polluted by that event. Irrevocably.

"And then I realized that, somehow, I was a survivor. That, somehow, I 
had weathered many storms; now, the Nor'easter was upon me, but I had
skills untapped; resources unknown.

"So, my friends to be, allow me my toast:

"TO STRENGTHS DISCOVERED, AND HOPE ETERNAL!"

   > > > S M A S H ! < < <
Path: mit-eddie!snorkelwacker!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!zaphod.mps.ohio-state.edu!samsung!caesar.cs.montana.edu!milton!uw-beaver!Teknowledge.COM!polya!lucid.com!lucidboston!kdo
From: kdo@lucid.com (Ken Olum)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A Scot?
Message-ID: <148@boston-harbor.lucid.com>
Date: 22 Dec 89 23:29:17 GMT
References: <4790a3de.20b6d@apollo.HP.COM>
Reply-To: kdo@lucid.com
Organization: Lucid East, Sharon MA
Lines: 6

In article <4790a3de.20b6d@apollo.HP.COM> betsyp@apollo.HP.COM (Betsy Perry) writes:
>"Mr. Callahan.. a scot... sigh.  Make that a Chambord and tonic..."

Certainly not.  Mike's an Irishman. :-)

				Ken
Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!samsung!uunet!microsoft!t-phils
From: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Do Not Open Until Tall Tale Night
Keywords: stinkers
Message-ID: <10060@microsoft.UUCP>
Date: 23 Dec 89 00:45:18 GMT
References: <GARY.89Dec13115427@milo.clarkson.edu> <6288@ucdavis.ucdavis.edu>
Reply-To: t-phils@microsoft.UUCP (the Eternal Stranger)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA
Lines: 196

Shadow writes:
| 
| 	Shadow grins. "All right. So the topic is eating, hmm? Certainly one
| we can milk for all it's worth..." He ducks a hail of peanuts from a corner
| table (was that you, Jilara?) and protests, "Just warming up!
| 	"Okay. Some of you may know that the current fad is oat bran...
...
| 	"You can't reach an oat bog with Tru sticks."



"Well, now," Alaric says slowly, "as it happens, your tale - speaking as
it does of journeying into the wilderness - reminds me of an event I
remember from the time when I, ah, took a vacation in the frozen lands
that lie to the north of the city of King's Mountain.  My wanderings
there chanced to bring me into the lands of a clan of Kanukh tribesmen -
Eskimos, I believe you would call them.
"As fate would have it, I arrived as they were conducting a memorial
ceremony for the tribal chieftain's brother, Koltos, who had just died an
untimely death.  They had his frozen body laid out in state, with his
harpoons neatly stacked beside him.
"Now among these tribes, it is a tradition that when conducting one of
these ceremonies, something symbolizing the cause of death is placed at
the feet of the deceased, as a sign that although the body is dead, the
spirit has passed by whatever caused death, and can no longer be
influenced by it.  The thing that puzzled me, though, was that what had
been placed at his feet was a small brazier of hot coals - yet even the
most casual glance at the body showed that he had frozen to death.  This
apparent paradox aroused my curiosity, and I remained for the rest of
the ceremony while the tribal shaman sang the dead man's death-song -
the story of his life and accomplishments, and how he finally met his
end.

"Well, it seemed that Koltos had been an exceptional member of the
tribe, from his earliest childhood.  He did, however, have a
considerable aversion to cold (strange for a Kanukh, I know), and the
influence of this was easily visible in his life.  He hunted the great
icebears, because their hides made the warmest sleeping furs; whenever
he built an igloo, he took extra care to seal every tiny crack and
chink, so that not even the tiniest draught could find its way in.  On
hunting expeditions, he was always the one who volunteered to tend the
cooking fire, and he had great thick calluses on the palms of his hands
from twirling the firedrill.  He could get a fire started faster that
anyone else in the tribe, and had an eagle eye for scraps or driftwood
dry enough for fuel.  He was always the first to notice an incoming
blizzard or a change in the weather, since he watched the skies with
such dedication - they said he could smell snow in the air three days
before it snowed.
"This all made things even more puzzling, because by all accounts,
Koltos was a great survivor.  How could such a man be so incautious as
to get into a situation in which he could freeze to death?" Alaric
pauses, looking regretfully at his empty glass.
"Actually, just between you and me, I'm starting to feel the chill a
little myself.  Something warming like an Irish coffee would go down
very well right now...  ah, thank you, Mike." He sips, appreciatively.
"Yes, that's more like it.  Now, where was I?"

"Oh yes.  Well, it seems that as life went on, so he seemed to feel the
cold more and more.  He began to try and avoid fishing expeditions - the
hours of sitting over a hole in the ice waiting for a fish to bite
chilled him to the bone.  He started finding reasons not to go on the
seal and walrus hunting trips, too; these Kanukhs did their walrus
hunting from kayaks, closed canoes made from sealskin stretched over a
wooden frame, and he had always found kayaking an unenjoyable
experience.  That layer of sealskin was the only thing between the
occupant and the ocean, and the water gets very cold up there.  He was
respected by the tribe for his weather sense and his skill at survival,
though (and also for being the Chief's brother), and rarely had to go
out hunting except when he felt like it.

"There came a time, though, when for some reason that nobody knew, the
winter was especially hard one year, and the hunting was poor.  The fish
wouldn't bite; the bears had retreated to the wildest and most desolate
areas of the wilderness; the caribou had not come north that year as
they usually did; the seals had mostly headed south in search of warmer
waters; and the few walrus to be found were nowhere near sufficient to
feed the tribe.  They were used to being able to pick and choose - now,
they had to chase every walrus they saw, even if they sighted it miles
away.  To find food now meant long hours spent alone in a kayak
searching among the ice floes for signs of walrus, usually without
success - and with hunting taking so much time for so little reward,
this meant that every hunter was needed, even Koltos.

"So Koltos got out his kayak, and paddled off with the other hunters to
search for walrus.  For two days he saw nothing and came back
empty-handed, and the weather was still getting colder.  Finally, late
on the third day, he spied a dark shape on a far-off ice-floe, on the
far side of a great open channel in the ice.  Checking his harpoon, he
set off in the direction of this promising target.  To his surprise, it
seemed to be a long time before he started to gain on it, and when he
got out about half-way to where the floe had been, he realised why, as
he felt the sudden tug of a current against his kayak.  The current had
been carrying the iceberg away from him.  Now, though, he was riding the
same current, and going with the floe.  With that help, he caught up to
it quickly.  Stealthily paddling around the edge of the floe, he readied
his harpoon for the throw, came around the corner of the ice floe - and
saw that the prey he had hoped for was nothing more than an abandoned,
broken kayak, frozen into the ice.
"Looking back the way he had come, he realized he was now a long way
from shore.  It was going to be a long, cold paddle back.  As he looked
at the wrecked kayak on the floe, though, the splintered frame caught
his eye, and he was struck by a sudden idea.  The wreck was beyond any
possibility of salvage as a kayak, but he could break up what was left
of the frame, use a small piece of the covering to protect his own
kayak, and if he was oh so careful, he could have a small fire to warm
his hands on the way back!
"Well, he broke up the frame for firewood, and cut away a part of the
skin that was free of the ice, and setting the skin in front of him on
the shell of his own kayak, he carefully built and lit a small fire.
"He fed tie fire with tiny scraps of wood from the broken frame as he
paddled, being careful not to rock the boat - no-one but Koltos could
have kept that fire going, on the deck of a kayak splashed with spray
from the paddle, but keep it going he did.  Now, though, he was fighting
against the current; and where it had taken him three or four hours to
get to the floe, four hours of paddling took him scarcely half-way back
- and he was beginning to tire, now.

"For hours Koltos paddled, eking out the last of the firewood with
desperate care, trying to keep the coals alive as long as possible, but
finally the wood ran out.  With the fire gone, the weather seemed even
colder than it had before, and he still hadn't reached solid pack-ice
where he could pull his kayak ashore and rest.  Almost numb from cold
and exhaustion, he hit on a desperate scheme.  He most be close now - if
he broke just a few little pieces off the frame of his own kayak,
unimportant pieces like the frame that his skin spray-deck tied onto, he
could keep the fire going a little longer and get some more precious
warmth.  The sea was calm, so he didn't need to use the spray-deck.  He
should reach solid ice where he could rest and find shelter before too
much longer.
"So he broke off a few little pieces, and kept paddling and feeding his
tiny fire...  but soon the spray-deck frame was gone, and he stil hadn't
reached the shore.  `Well, a few more tiny pieces won't hurt,' he
thought, `if I take them carefully...' and so he broke off a few more
pieces, in places that wouldn't weaken the kayak too much.  And so he
went on, until finally he noticed that he was almost there.
"With a sudden second wind, he started paddling with renewed fervor, and
the kayak leapt ahead - for a few strokes, and then there was a sudden
ominous creaking and the kayak sagged in the middle.  He realized,
horrified, that he had taken too much wood from the frame - he had
weakened the kayak too much, and he now had but moments to reach safety
before the kayak collapsed completely.  He paddled frantically, trying
to reach shore, but the strain was too much for the weakened kayak.  Just
seconds later, it broke in half and sank, leaving him floundering amid the
wreckage, suddenly afloat in the icy-cold water.
"Well, he wasn't the kind to give up easily, and he struck out for
shore, swinning strongly.  But his thick furs were awkward to swim in,
and the deadly cold of the water sapped the strength from his muscles.
With determination born from the fear of imminent death, though, he kept
on, soaked to the skin, and finally he reached the shore.  With a last
effort he pulled himself out onto the ice but, totally exhausted from
his ordeal and chilled to the bone, he did not have the strength to go
any further - or even, at first, to stand against the weight of his
waterlogged clothes.
"`I must build a fire,' he thought, `I must get warm and get dry...  but
I need to rest for a minute first.  Just a few minutes, then I'll go
on.' But the few minutes turned into many, and the cold air froze his
wet clothes, and when he tried to get up he found to his horror that his
wet furs had frozen solid, and he could not move - he was as though
entombed alive, encased in a coffin of ice.
"Another hunter from his tribe found the wreckage of his kayak the next
day, and realized that something must have happened to him.  Searching
in the area, found Koltos on the edge of the pack ice, frozen absolutely
solid.  Tying him onto the back of his kayak, he took his body back to
the village, and told the clan chieftain the sad news.

"Well, they gave him a hero's funeral, of course - only a hero could
have swum that far in that freezing water - and they had the clan shaman
perform an augury to find out what it was that had wrecked his kayak, so
that they could properly honor him.  So that explained the brazier of
coals."

Sitting back, Alaric takes a long swallow of the steaming Irish coffee.
"You know," he says, "I'm glad I don't live up there in the frozen
wastes."


"Pardon me for asking," Doc Webster inquires politely, "but I think I must
be missing something...  this is a fascinating tale, but I don't see what
it has to do with food.  Apart from the incidental aspect of hunting, that
is."
"Dat's right," chimes in Fast Eddie, "and it don't got no pun in it,
neither!"

Ignoring Eddie's interjection, Alaric looks innocently at the Doc.
"Well, it's really quite simple, you see," he says.  "The whole story
just goes to show one thing:

        "You can't _have_ your kayak, _and_ heat it..."



-- 
    CHECK ALL BOXES THAT APPLY:
[ ] Out-of-place Renaissance man	[ ] Frustrated idealist with no utopia  [ ] Romantic with no-one to romance	[ ] Amateur superhero minus superpowers
[ ] Sometime poet with no audience	[ ] t-phils@microsoft.UUCP	        [ ] Gallant knight with no holy sword	[ ] Software wizard seeking new tower
[ ] Player at Life, with no rule book	[ ] Empath with no-one to help	        [X] All of the above
Path: mit-eddie!bu-cs!lll-winken!uunet!tut.cis.ohio-state.edu!ucbvax!ZIP.EECS.UMICH.EDU!tyg
From: tyg@ZIP.EECS.UMICH.EDU (Tom Galloway)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: SF puns
Message-ID: <8912230228.AA05225@zip.eecs.umich.edu>
Date: 23 Dec 89 02:28:02 GMT
Sender: daemon@ucbvax.BERKELEY.EDU
Lines: 17

A few years back, Spider was GoH at Baycon, so they had a Punday night with
Spider presiding. The topic of SF authors came up, and I managed the following;

It's a little known fact that Spider here comes from a long line of famous
authors. They were all Robinsons, but wrote under pen names like Shakespeare,
Melville, Joyce, Heinlein, etc. Now, Spider is a believer in nuture over 
nature, so when he was starting out he tried his best to write and make it
big using only the techniques he'd learned in his life. While reasonably
well received, the stories just weren't making it big. So he gave in and
wrote a story that won all sorts of awards. Which story is that? Why, 
Stardance, of course, because that's the first one where he co-wrote with his
Robinson, Jeanne.

(the most notable thing during that round was that a co-owner of The Other
Change of Hobbit sf bookstore blanked on the topic of sf authors!)

tyg    tyg@caen.engin.umich.edu
Path: mit-eddie!rutgers!usc!hacgate!lori
From: lori@hacgate.scg.hac.com (Lori Barfield)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re:  The Answer, Of Course, Is 42  (SOLUTION)
Message-ID: <6558@hacgate.scg.hac.com>
Date: 22 Dec 89 23:34:29 GMT
Organization: Hughes Aircraft Company, El Segundo  CA
Lines: 79


OK, Mike, here's a stack of singles for Phil.  He came soooo close....

Heh heh heh.  ;-)  This has been fun.

I'm sorry if *anyone* missed out on guidance because my mailer was sick.
[Once again, Eddie strikes up, "Hey, Mr. Postman...."]

		    *******   DRUM  ROLL  PLEASE   *******

The "twist" to the puzzle can be found by examining the title of the puzzle
and the beginnings of all the solution words.  Here are the correct solutions
that Phil posted:

    clock chip technology                      q u a R t z

    XXX compile time reading material      p e n t h O u s e

    link                                             B i n d

    remove trailing blanks                       t r I m

    type of variable                           u n i N i t i a l i z e d

See it?  Every word starts off with either a common Greek or Latin
number-prefix, but NONE of the words is lexically based on these roots.
Now, that was the "twist," but not the whole solution....

To get the last few, you had to have noted the *title* of the puzzle.
(To help out, I also posted the clue that this puzzle was "commutative.")
Hmmm...Answer is 42...number prefixes...maybe you could add these up....

4+5+2+3+1.  That's a a pretty low sum, so high-value prefixes might be
needed for the last three solution words.  I forced myself to stick to
numbers 10 and under because they're the ones everyone knows.  To help
out, the first five intentionally were 1-5, and I also didn't repeat any.

Because the next word had such an iffy relationship to the "Computerness"
theme, I gave a *second* clue by misspelling "source."  There are no
prefixes other than the correct one which could fit into _E_ except dEc,
which isn't a stand-alone word, and then there was the tie-in with
"sorceror"....

    sorce of the last bug in any program           h E x

For this next word, I had hoped that someone would notice what company makes
VAXen.  You needn't have gotten the correct product name to deserve a round
for this one!  There could be several answers, anyway, I'm no DExpert.

    VAX communication link                     d e c N e t

And this last one could probably only be solved by the process of
subtraction :-).  There could be many close-enough answers, so I'd
have bought a round for anyone who just knew what it had to start with.

    nerd personality trait                 n o n a s S e r t i v e

Viola!  The answer, of course, Is 42.  But then, that's what I've been
saying all along!

********

This puzzle was tricky to write because in order to make it solvable, I
thought it had to have a familiar theme (Computerness), a vertical clue
tying it in with alt.callahans (ROBINSEN), and a title so obvious that
it would give away the "twist" (The Answer is 42).  The first five words
were intended to be easy (sorry if anyone was offended) in order to
facilitate catching the "twist" right away.

I don't know of anyone who caught the twist or came closer than Phil.
If you did, post your say-so, and the next round or two is also on me!

I have gotten very little feedback on whether many people on alt.callahans
are into puzzling any more.  It's been interesting to watch the evolution
of this net over the past month or so.  If anybody out there wants to
try another, post a theme--  It's Phil's turn!


...lori
