From greywolf@unisoft.UUCP Wed Dec  6 20:04:51 1989
From: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: soulmates
Date: 5 Dec 89 02:56:20 GMT
Reply-To: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf)
Status: O

In article <20940004@hplred.HP.COM> egly@hplred.HP.COM (Diana Egly) writes:
>
>Friends, are you really certain that your soulmate will be your spouse?
>Are you really certain that the issue of soulmates is critical to romantic
>relationships?  Because I'm not.

The grey wolf on the floor barks twice in dissent, strolling up to the line
with his half-finished glass of midori held gingerly in his mouth.  He sets
it down.

{ To each their own, as they wish it.  I didn't go on that assumption; I
  wished for it.  I didn't want my romantic SO to be just another romantic SO
  -- I wanted a romantic SO who could be more than an occasional friend; I
  wanted a good friend.  I wanted someone I could spend the rest of my life
  with.  I've waited for her for two years now, and it will likely be three
  before we finally live together. }

{ The force which draws us together is truly amazing, and the energy we share
  is paralleled only by that of a dream I had once (one that literally saved
  my life).  In her I see timeless beauty -- and I mean timeless.  Through
  and through, she is wonderous.  Depending on lighting, mood and physical
  position, as well as other non-physical factors, she can look as though
  she is right out of the 1890's; other times she seems right out of the late
  sixties/early seventies.  And when I share time with her, it is intense,
  and sometimes, for a fleeting moment, our location does a time shift --
  it feels like we get thrown back to different eras.  She is special to me.}

{ But the reason I am up here is not necessarily to tell my own story, but to
  re-iterate "To each their own".  I know what it is that I perceive as
  "need"; for someone to state that it is only my perception of what I need
  would be senseless.  I need it.  That person obviously does not share my
  need.  For you, Diana, your need is not to have your soulmate and your SO
  be the same -- for me, in my heart, such an arrangement would not work;
  and at this point I am so hopelessly in love with my soulmate that for her
  to cease to be one or the other would be horrifically impractical.
  For someone else, a soulmate might be something else.  Who knows? }

{ Again, to soulmates, and to the many different forms they take.... }

>
>I can not deny my own experience.

{ Nor I, mine. }

<lap lap lap lap lap>

The wolf flings the glass into the air with his nose and bats it into the
fireplace with his paw...

<fling....> *bap*  ***CRACK!***

{ Hm...never seen a glass just crack in two after that before...}

... and returns to his ...uh, seat? next to Gilly.



-- 
"Like leaves we touched, we danced; we once knew the story
As Autumn called and we both remembered all those many years ago.
I'm sure we know..."

From greywolf@unisoft.UUCP Wed Dec  6 20:04:52 1989
From: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Poem Review, + Request for Personal Info About Posters
Date: 5 Dec 89 03:38:49 GMT
Reply-To: greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf)
Keywords: Good Poetry.
Status: O


Name: Roan Jon Anderson (first name pronounced "RO-wan", like Rowan + Martin)
Hobbies: Role-playing Gaming, Video Gaming, Pinballing, drives in the country,
 music (piano, mandolin, bass, guitar), programming, spending as much time
 with my soulmate as I possibly can...
Age: 24.   Sex: Oft..er, Male.  Height: 5'10".  Weight: 133-150 depending...
Race: Elf/Wolf/Human depending...[half- :-)]
Favourite food: Varies.  Pizza, but I've OD'd on that.  Probably omelettes
  this week.
Favourite colours:  Dark green, dark blue, grey, silver, black, and burgundy.
Favourite TV shows:  Road-runner cartoons, Beauty & the Beast, Star Trek
 (don't ask which -- I like 'em both!) and, in an emergency, the news.   At
  this point, though, my household is sans TV.
Favourite movies:  The first two of the Star Wars trilogy, Dead Poets Society,
 Back to the Future (haven't seen the second yet).
College:  Life.  Major:  Systems Administration, Music, Love.
Year^H^H^H^HLifetime:  I think it's my last.  I feel old...
Location:  Somewhere on this plane, though, as I wrote in another article,
 times and dimensions shift around me on occasion...
Musical preferences:  Anything with decent harmonies, not too terribly poppy,
  stuff which tells a story.
Goal in life:  To live.  Not to just exist, but to live.
-- 
"Like leaves we touched, we danced; we once knew the story
As Autumn called and we both remembered all those many years ago.
I'm sure we know..."


-- 
"Like leaves we touched, we danced; we once knew the story
As Autumn called and we both remembered all those many years ago.
I'm sure we know..."

From cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu Wed Dec  6 20:04:53 1989
From: cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu (Unbeliever)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: The Visitor's Return
Date: 5 Dec 89 10:00:12 GMT
Organization: The Land
Status: O

A whooshing sound is heard once again in Callahan's bar, but this time it
seems... louder.   Suddenly, a large blue box with a flashing light on top
fades into view in the center of the room!  A tall, curly-haired man wearing
an amazingly long striped scarf steps out of the box, and approaches the bar.
"Got the spacial coordinates right this time!  Greetings all!  Mike, the
usual!"  A cup of specially brewed English tea is promptly brought to him by
the bartender.

"For those of you who don't yet know me, I am known as the Doctor.  I know many
of you, having met you several times in the future."  He waves to Gilly and
smiles broadly.  "You're going to be very happy, and it will happen sooner than
you think!"  He bends down to scratch a wolf's ears and nod solemnly at the
Blue Unicorn.  "Gentlemen, I have had many friends, but I, too, know lonliness."
He raises his cup.  "To the end of our journeys: may we find our individual
destinies before they find us!"

He downs the rest of his tea, and looks disapprovingly at the cup.  "This
simply won't do.  Mike, a ginger beer, if you please."  Taking the drink from
the counter before him, he gulps it down, and hurls the mug at the fireplace. 
"Ah!  Much better.  The effect is lost on a teacup!"  Dropping the teacup into
one of his seemingly endless supply of pockets, he waves goodbye to the
regulars of Callahan's Bar, and ducks into the large blue box, which fades
out with the customary whooshing sound.



+--------------------------------+-----------------+--------------------------+
|  Handle:  Unbeliever           |      Empty      |"In the immortal words of |
|Internet:  cosc5sh@elroy.uh.edu |      Space      | Socrates, who said, 'I   |
|  Bitnet:  cosc5sh@elroy        +-----------------+ drank what?!?'"          |
|    UUCP:  ...texbell!uhnix1!elroy.uh.edu!cosc5sh |           -- Real Genius |
+--------------------------------------------------+--------------------------+

From gh1g+@andrew.cmu.edu Wed Dec  6 20:04:54 1989
From: gh1g+@andrew.cmu.edu (Gregg Fielding Hinderstein)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Another Toast (won't I ever get change?)
Date: 5 Dec 89 10:47:00 GMT
Organization: Class of '91, Carnegie Mellon, Pittsburgh, PA
Status: O

Hi again all, with all the people who "sit in the corners listening" I
guess a few of us have to keep yappin' on, huh? :) Anyway,

Mike, an Ice Tea please (no, not a Long Island one)

I have a problem I've never heard of anyone else having, and it's
affecting my whole life.  The problem is that I intimidate people.  Not
phyically, I'm only 160 pounds, and not prone to violence, but somehow...
I first realized this last year, when my best friend told me to come
along to his girlfriend's room one afternoon.  Seemed she wasn't getting
along with them, and "you make them nervous".  After this, I began to
realize it was true all over.  I though it might have something to do
with my somewhat wild appearance, but I recently learned that a group of
people who I had only spoken to over a computer felt it as well.  I'll
admit, something deep within likes the idea, but in general it's hard to
deal with.  I even feel it in some of my friends.  I don't know if it's
subconcious, because I'm afraid of being hurt, or entirely accidental. 
It  also seems that if I don't scare people, I might be boring them, I'm
never really sure which it is.
Anyway, it seems I get ignored alot.  Even here.  It's damn painfull
sometimes.  

To people, and what's inside them  <crash>

Gregg

"Don't shiver as you pass me by, cause Mister, I'm the one whose frightened"
-The Who,  I Don't Know Myself

From hollombe@ttidca.TTI.COM Wed Dec  6 20:04:55 1989
From: hollombe@ttidca.TTI.COM (The Polymath)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Jilara's Turn
Date: 5 Dec 89 00:57:20 GMT
Reply-To: hollombe@ttidca.tti.com (The Polymath)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Citicorp/TTI, Santa Monica
Status: O


The quiet man in the corner suddenly looks up, as if he's heard an odd
sound.  No one else seems to have noticed anything.  He walks to the door
and turns the latch ...

The door opens, and Jilara stumbles in, wearing some Celtic jewelery 
and a long length of tartan wrapped around her.  She unpins the brooch 
and lets it fall off her shoulders.  "McPendleton tartan," she says, 
plunking down a dollar.  "I got used to wearing such things when I used 
to do fairs and parades with a wild bunch of heathen Scots.  You all 
wondered where I got my taste for scotch?  I also found a good length of 
wool, properly draped, keeps you nicely warm.  Even on a miserable, 
rainy St. Paddy's parade in San Francisco, when we all looked like Ellis 
Island refugees.  They were my family, then.  They gave me the two 
most precious things in my life, the two friends who have been the 
force keeping me going, who believed in me, down the past ten years."  
She smiles at Callahan.  "Laphroigh, this time.  Someday, on another 
night, I'll tell a tale, a tale of a Funeral in Camelot, and how it 
saved my soul.  But that's for another time.  Tonight, I just want to 
toast a group long gone, but ever fondly remembered."  She holds up the 
glass of scotch, gazes into the amber liquid reflecting the light.  "And 
thank god for them..."  She steps up, holds the glass for a moment in 
front of her forehead, extends it out and up, in the manner of the 
Japanese, who might toast Jizo, the patron saint of travellers and dead 
souls.  "To Clan Colin, and the Old Man, Eoin Colin MacKenzie, who made 
it all possible!"  She drains the glass, smashes it in the fire, and 
smiles.  A few see her turn away and wipe away a tear.

[Posted for Jilara by: ]
-- 
The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, hollombe@ttidca.tti.com)  Illegitimis non
Citicorp(+)TTI                                                 Carborundum
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.   (213) 452-9191, x2483
Santa Monica, CA  90405 {csun|philabs|psivax}!ttidca!hollombe

From mjc@nl.cs.cmu.edu Wed Dec  6 20:04:56 1989
From: mjc@nl.cs.cmu.edu (Monica Cellio)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Another Toast (won't I ever get change?)
Date: 5 Dec 89 16:18:51 GMT
Organization: Carnegie Mellon University
Status: O

I think I can understand your problem (intimidating people).  In my case,
it's a natural "skill" which I deliberately use for certain lower life forms 
(such as car salesmen, politicians, and those cretins who call me at 9am on a 
Saturday to sell me aluminum siding for the (brick) house I rent).  I try
very hard to avoid "accidentally" intimidating people, but it doesn't always
work.  I was told once by someone that a mutual friend has a great deal of 
respect for me because I can intimidate another mutual friend; I had never
*tried*.  And there are people who've never met me who are sometimes afraid
of me because they've heard misplaced hype.  Argh!  (No, I'm not likely to
physically intimidate many people, either.)

The people who bother to try to get to know me know what I'm really like.
I wish I could say that the rest simply don't matter, but I can't.

To appearances.  May we be able to keep them under control!

*CRASH*

Monica 
mjc@cs.cmu.edu

From jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Wed Dec  6 20:04:57 1989
From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Interconnectedness
Date: 5 Dec 89 18:01:22 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: or, conversely, Chaos:
Status: O

It's amazing where you people turn up. Seems I've been finding Place denizens
everywhere I look. On to the varied and gobbeldy reason(s) for this message:

I have an id file of the sort, um, *someone* [sorry!] is looking for, but 
it's rather long. It was originally written as my relay idfile. When I say
long, I mean 100+ lines. I can mail it to those who are interested.

Second, hello to all of you in corners. Come share with us when you like,
don't if you don't. We'd welcome your additions, but respect the silence.
And hello to you over in the corner, discussing politics and education, and
maybe geology. Welcome.

And finally, third. Mike, I want to celebrate my majority. It is now legal
by my state laws for me to drink (as of 2 days ago), so let me have a
Fuzzy Navel, please. Thanks.

[10-20 minutes later...] "To the people in the corner. I understand because
I know. I've been there too." <CRASH!>

Jen
-- 
       "Make mine a root beer, Mike. Thanks. To communication! <CRASH>"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Jennifer Doyle   //   Princeton  '92   //   jmdoyle@phoenix.princeton.edu  
Disclaimer: I am a student, I represent the future.

From austin@bucsf.bu.edu Wed Dec  6 20:04:59 1989
From: austin@bucsf.bu.edu (Austin Ziegler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Soulmates and more
Date: 5 Dec 89 21:50:47 GMT
Organization: Boston University College of Engineering
In-reply-to: gilly@bucsf.bu.edu's message of 29 Nov 89 16:16:42 GMT
Status: O


	The door opens, and a dollar bill blows in on a icy gust of winter
wind.  The bill lands on the bar.  <<Michael,>> the voice seems to be
coming from the dollar bill.  A few people look startled, but Michael takes
it in stride.  <<I need something stronger than a soft drink tonight, but I
cannot have alcohol because I get ill from even the smell alcohol.  What do
you suggest?>>  Michael turns around for a minute, and someone comes up to
the bar to look at the bill.  On it, instead of George Washington, you see
the face of a wizard!  <<Darn!  My cover is blown! (-8 ,>> the bill says as
this beam of light comes out of the oval in the center of the bill.  It
forms an arc to the floor and builds a wizard--Magyk.
	"Oh well, that was fun.  It is amazing what fun you can have with
magic.  I've been very busy, and I have yet to complete the spell which
will let Jilara say what she has to say on this subject.  It will be
completed in a few minutes.  Meanwhile, I'll be saying my spiel because
this subject touches me, too.  Gilly, I understand where you are coming
from.  Let me begin with an apology for the 'creative editing' but this is
a long article even without all the quotes that I'm making, so ..."

>>>>> On 29 Nov 89 16:16:42 GMT, gilly@bucsf.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) said:

Gilly>                              "Do soulmates really exist?  
Gilly> *where the hell is mine*?
Gilly> Alright, I'm only twenty, and I know that's young.
Gilly> But dammit, there are times when I feel so damned alone.  I don't
Gilly> understand it.  I'm a nice person, got a decent sense of humor, I'm
Gilly> fairly attractive - you would think I could find someone.  I have
Gilly> friends I can talk to, but it's just not the same."
Gilly>                 "To soulmates - and finding them soon."

	"Amen to that, Gilly.  I hate the current situation I'm in, and
there is not much I can do about it.  Feel good that you have had that
boyfriend...I've never had anyone that I could call a girlfriend.  I've
only had friends that were just good friends.  The opposite sex and I never
seem to work together (no pun or other inference intended)."

>>>>> On 29 Nov 89 17:32:28 GMT, cerebus@bucsf.bu.edu (Tim Miller) said:

Tim> 	"To Gilly; you are not alone!"

Tim> 	"I find myself in a similar position; I have never been able to
Tim> form relationships above the level of 'good friend' with anyone of the
Tim> opposite sex.  [...]  I prefer to get to know
Tim> someone I find attractive before I ask that person out; unfortunately,
Tim> that puts me in the 'friend' position early on in the game."

	"Neither, Tim, are you.  (Don't you love how many bucsf people
agree with Gilly?)  This is my current situation, and has always been this
way.  Heck.  I've only been on two dates in my life.  The first was to the
Choir Banquet, and she asked me because I didn't have the guts to ask the
person I really wanted to go with.  (I enjoyed the Banquet and had a better
time with this girl than I probably would have with the other girl, but
that is another story.)  The second one was just to meet someone from MIT
in person, after I had met them over IRC.  I am currently pursuing a
relationship, but I don't think it will work.  (I'll explain in a bit.)"

>>>>> On 29 Nov 89 21:46:02 GMT, hammer@pawl.rpi.edu (James A. Damour) said:

James>  Gilly, I believe you have just hit upon the basic crux of male/female
James> relations. Sure people look for others that are sexually compatable, but
James> what I (and most people, I believe) *really* want is someone who they
James> are willing to send eternity with. People want someone who is fun to be
James> with... someone they can tell all their secret fears and desires to.
James>                                             But I
James> am NOT alone. I have friends who are fun to be with (and that helps,
James> but not enuf) and I have alt.callahans where I can find comfort from 
James> people who care about me, even if they have never heard of me before.

	"No, James, you are not.  My future spouse must be a soulmate
because if that person does not understand *everything* about me, the
relationship will not work for long.  I do look for people that I can spend
an eternity with.  I may be only 18, but I need to find someone that is to
be my soulmate.  Damn, I have a lot of love, but no one to give it to.
Conversely, I must be the same to her.  Currently, all I have are good
friends (quasi-soulmates).  I wish that I could have more than that,
because I feel incomplete, and friends just aren't enough to satisfy that." 

>>>>> On 29 Nov 89 19:45:47 GMT, jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer
>>>>> Mary Doyle) said:

Jennifer> Oh God, *YES*!  I *know* what you mean! I'm 20, also (21 in 4 days)
Jennifer> and haven't had a real boyfriend, well, ever, I suppose, though 1 or
Jennifer> 2 that have come close.  [...] I feel like there's no one who
Jennifer> understands me, sometimes, and no one I can learn from and teach to.
Jennifer> I'm nice, too, and I listen, and I want to be there for someone.
Jennifer> Everyone around me has a real soulmate, or at least a boy/girlfriend,
Jennifer> or a possibility.  I don't even have a possibility.

	"Happy belated birthday, Jennifer.  I cannot believe we all missed
that.  How does it feel to be legal?  (-8  I am in a situation similar to
you, because everyone around me has someone back home that fit the
description of soulmate or boy/girlfriend, or have a possibility up here.
I have someone that I wish to be more than friends with, but for reasons
I'll tell in a minute, it probably won't happen."

>>>>> On 30 Nov 89 00:16:48 GMT, MICHAEL@MAINE said:

Michael> "[...]  I lacked enough of [self-confidence] to
Michael> court rejection by asking out people who were NOT already my
Michael> friends.

Michael> "You'll get there. And if you don't expect every date to turn into
Michael> a steady or every relationship to last until death do you part,
Michael> you'll even have fun getting there."

	"I might lack that self-confidence, but this girl I like (I mean
really, really like) I met in EK100--the engineering school's freshman
seminar.  I didn't know anything about her (I still don't know much about
her) but some gut-level feeling said there was something special about her.
Unfortunately, about three weeks into our friendship, I decided to tell her
how I felt about her because it was tearing me up inside.  It turns out
that she feels the same way about someone she met over the summer.  I
really care for this girl, but it always seems that I find someone who is
interested in someone else!  Further, she does not think we should be more
than friends."

>>>>> On 30 Nov 89 08:19:10 GMT, greywolf@unisoft.UUCP (The Grey Wolf) said:

greywolf> "To soulmates, indeed, for they do
greywolf> exist for those who are ready to find them.  It may take a while,
greywolf> and you might find out that you just cannot be with them in the
greywolf> end.  

	"Aye, that is often the case, GreyWolf.  I am ready to find one,
and I believe I have found someone who could be a soulmate, but like I said
above, I may have ruined it."

greywolf> "I am but four and twenty years of age now...  sometimes it may
greywolf> seem like I'm just a kid, for in many ways I am, and in others,
greywolf> I've been from one end of this universe to the other, and I
greywolf> instinctively know what people feel and why.

	"I understand that completely.  I am very much the same way, but I
have not been able to fine-tune my 'gift' to figure out why."

greywolf> "My mom used to kid me about being five going on forty, and even
greywolf> my father tells me I was born eighty...

	"I was never told that, but people always think I'm older than I
am!  I look about 23, and am told I act even older most of the time.  I've
been told a couple of times that I don't know how to live, but that simply
is not true.  I don't know how to be an 18 year old because people expect
so much more from me."

	"Shadow talks about the fact that FRIENDS are hard to come by
without worrying about boy/girlfriends, and how we are like islands with
walls.  I must admit that I understand his analogy, and even practice it to
a small degree, but I firmly believe that I let more people beyond the
walls than others.  I am a very open person, often to anyone who will
listen.  I am a person that tries to have nothing to hide because nothing
is worth hiding.  The Bible says (a book I firmly believe in, and this is
paraphrased) that nothing is worth anything if you do not give it away.  If
you give something away, you will receive it in kind one-hundred fold.
That is why I wish I could give my love away.  I feel incomplete otherwise."

Shadow>                           Serves me right for writing what I did. I
Shadow> only hope I haven't screwed up our friendship too terribly. 

	"I'm afraid what I wrote (emailed it because I did not feel
comfortable talking to her face-to-face...too many butterflies) did ruin my
possibilities for Stephanie.  She's a pretty girl, no Venus, mind you, but
I find her prettier than any Venus.  I don't understand what that
gut-feeling means, I don't even know why I get it, but I know that it means
something and that the person I feel it for is special.
	"Diana and Pixel talk about soulmates not necessarily being
lifemates.  I agree.  Soulmates are not necessarily Lifemates, but my
Lifemate must also be a Soulmate, and that may be the difference.
	"I've just about run my spiel.  I've been saving this post to a
file as well, and it is already 10K...I hate to see what the number of
lines will be.  Maybe I should have started with 'Friends, Callahandians
(is that right?), everyone, lend me your ears...' (-8 I've tugged for
enough time, but I do have one last thing to say before my toast.  I'm not
giving up on this girl, but I'm going a lot slower in my revelations.  I
don't think it will work based on several conversations with her, but, I
can still hope."
	Magyk finally picks up the glass next to him.  "To Callahans!  May
it exist for a long, long time."  He drinks the liquid inside, and just
about chokes on it.  "A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster!  Now that's a
non-alcoholic killer for you! (-8"  He throws the glass into the fire,
where it shatters into a thousand shards.
	He moves off into the corner, and starts making arcane gestures.
You begin to see the form of Jilara once again...and as he continues, she
starts coming in stronger...


-- 
      Magyk (austin@bucsf.bu.edu,@bucsb.bu.edu,engc8vc@buacca.bu.edu)
	       700 Commonwealth Box 2094, Boston, MA  02215
				     
       "Yes, I'm the crazy person running an EMail AD&D adventure!"
				   -- Me

From austin@bucsf.bu.edu Wed Dec  6 20:05:00 1989
From: austin@bucsf.bu.edu (Austin Ziegler)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Jilara Speaks (Relationships)
Date: 5 Dec 89 21:59:35 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Boston University College of Engineering
Status: O


	As he completes the spell, Magyk look weary, and sits down in a
chair to listen.  "Some of this may be redundant because Jilara's mail has
been going crazy lately, but...here go the posts..."

  
Jilara sighs.  "All you folks talking relationships puts me in mind of 
that problem about easy answers.  I've told you I've got a LOT of really 
nasty stuff in my past.  Never realized how nasty until the flashbacks 
and stuff started.  I keep making my therapist flinch.  Now, this does 
some strange stuff to your relationships, your friendships.  Lot of folks 
would like to, but they just can't relate.  Men that don't have ghosts 
and shadows in their own pasts generally can't really get into my world 
space.  They're wonderful people, but their worlds are pastel, and mine is 
all sharp edges and primary colors.  It's the empathy factor, that kind 
of understanding.  And it's the greatest strength and weakness.
	"To explain, that empathy is based on a messed-up psyche.  Me, 
I've worked through mine, face the fear.  It's okay when you're drinking 
buddies, but intimate friendships hit that primal-scream level for people 
who've spent an extended visit in Hell.  Well, last spring, I met a true 
kindred spirit, a wonderful FRIEND.  He moved in with me, but there were 
elements that started to freak him---like us trying to protect each other.  
The protectee feels suffocated.  Both of us.  And I was starting to get a 
little weird and having flashbacks---nothing to do with him, but he saw it 
as an attempt to manipulate him.  And we couldn't talk about problems, 
because we were both too afraid of violence.  In our respective households, 
talking about problems meant a person would fly out of control and hurt 
you.  You see, your mind and your emotions don't operate on the same 
frequency.  You can know something intellectually, but your body knows it 
emotionally, knows its going to get abused.  And then, one day, he left.  
Just left.  Why?  Because, he told me, he had spent all his life trying 
not to get too attached to anyone or anything, because they all got 
snatched away from you.  And if you cared too much, it hurt more when you 
lost them.  If I'd just been a lover, it would have been okay.  But I was 
a friend, and he'd tried hard not to let any "friends" get close.  Then 
he could walk away and it wouldn't hurt.  I'd already gotten way too close, and 
he had to get out now, before he got closer, and losing me would hurt 
more than he could bear.  Please understand, he said."  She shook her head. 
	"I do, but keep facing fear, though my heart pounds and I shake."  
She fishes in her worn leather jacket and pulls out a twenty.  "A round on 
me," she says, tossing it on the bar.  "To Cowardice, the strength of fools, 
and all those who eternally play Lord Jim, facing the fear of living.  I 
guess, since we've had the tin woodman, we might as well throw in the 
cowardly lion.  Anybody here got some brains?  Or a toast to Kansas?"
  
   Jilara  
	jane@fsdcupt.csd.mot.COM (should work, but...also try)
	motcsd!fsdcupt!jane@apple.com


-- 
      Magyk (austin@bucsf.bu.edu,@bucsb.bu.edu,engc8vc@buacca.bu.edu)
	       700 Commonwealth Box 2094, Boston, MA  02215
    "The Lord bless you and keep you/and lift His countenace upon you/
	    and give you peace/and be gracious unto you./Amen."
       --The Lord Bless You and Keep You, a traditional benediction

From slg@ms.uky.edu Wed Dec  6 20:05:01 1989
From: slg@ms.uky.edu (Sean Gilley)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: re: soulmates
Date: 5 Dec 89 21:56:09 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: U of Ky, Math. Sciences, Lexington KY
Status: O


Up from the darkness in one corner of the room rises a hefty guy of about
six feet.  He walks to the bar, obviously nervous, lays down two dollars
and orders a shot of tequila and a Pepsi.  He downs the tequila with a
grimace, immediately following it with a large swallow of Pepsi.  He
walks to the line, and the rest of the room slowly quiets.  He slowly
becomes red from embarrassment, but when there is no sound in the room
(except for Mike mixing a drink behind the bar), he speaks:

"Looking for soulmates. Yea, I understand.  I went through so many years
wondering if I had found my soulmate and then lost her.  I went through
a lot of years thinking that everyone I ever fell in love with was
going to have a different soulmate than myself.

"There have been three people in my life that might have been soulmates.
The first time, I never really knew what happened.  One day, she called
me and told me we weren't going out together anymore.  The second, well
we care about each other as much as two people can, I think, but she's
married.  Her husband's a great guy, too, and we share much in common.
The third.. ah the third.."

He gets a sort of wispy, happy, look on his face, and then jumps, as if
startled out of some memory or thought.

"The third, well we're still together, and will be for many, many years.
We got married, you see.  Of course, we got married long after making a
commitment to each other, long after we knew that if we're both still on
this plane in a hundred years, we'd be together. Or a thousand, the
time span really doesn't matter, we simply *fit* together.

"Gilly, Jen, don't give up, don't force it.  Things change and often become
better.  I don't know how many times that I wasn't sure I could stand the
aloneness anymore.  How many more times I could stand 'just being friends'.
At twenty-seven, I found her, a year later, she found me.  But oh, it
would of been worth the wait if I had had to wait another hundred years!

"So, to friends, to love, and to soulmates."

The tequila glass leisurely flys to the fireplace and shatters therein.
He downs the rest of the Pepsi, and walks back to the corner, to continue
lurking there.  As always.

"A personal note to Unbeliever:  I see we have the same name.  This really
shouldn't be a problem, as I tend to draw people to the side to talk to them.
But if you find this a problem, perhaps I can transform myself while here.

"To all: I wish you peace and happiness.  As I don't tend to talk much, I
wanted you to all know how happy making this group of people is."

He sits, to dissapear into the shadows.

Unbeliever.

---
attunix!oac!slg; attmail!sgilley

"Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal."

