From JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET Thu Nov 16 06:16:50 1989
From: JDO103@PSUVM.BITNET (Someone)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: <PUN ALERT> Music
Date: 14 Nov 89 05:21:58 GMT
Distribution: alt
Organization: Penn State University
Status: RO

In article <5377@cps3xx.UUCP>, usenet@cps3xx.UUCP (Usenet file owner) says:
>
>In article <42425@bu-cs.BU.EDU> cerebus@bucsf.bu.edu (Tim Miller) writes:
>>
>>       This kind of of punning really Styx in my craw.  Of course, I
>>engage in it too; I just have Too Much Time on My Hands.  Sitting here with
>>nothing better to do, I start to feel like A Man in the Wilderness.  No
>>human contact, so I turn to the net for company....
>>
>Hey, DeYoung fellow is making puns out of one of my favorite groups.
>Well, I'm going to Shaw him I appreciate the effort by making a toast
>at the end of this posting. In the meantime, however, let's not let
>this pun fest die down--after all, the night is still Young.
>
>(BTW, I'll buy the next round for anyone who can fit the name "Panozzo"
> into a pun.)
>
   Well, since you're buying!  I'll take a panozzo things over there!

-Dave

>---------------------------------------------------------------
>An idea is not responsible for  | Greg Stockton
>the people who believe in it.   | stockton@frith.egr.msu.edu
>---------------------------------------------------------------

From lupine@pawl.rpi.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:51 1989
From: lupine@pawl.rpi.edu (Gayathri Kamath)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Intimacy? Hmm...
Date: 14 Nov 89 14:32:51 GMT
Organization: Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, Troy NY
Status: O


 There is a knock on the door, and the wind seems to blow it open...
A large shadowy silver wolf stands in the doorway, a storm at her back, with 
snow and ice all around her...
          As she enters, a grey shadow shimmers,and there is a tall young
woman standing there... Her hair is as dark as the night, and her eyes are
pools of deep brown...
          "Greetings all...the Tundra was cold tonite, so I thought to 
come and join amongst friends...Greetings, Ralph! And Hello Taldin!"
  She leans over and hugs the Unicorn.  
  
"A Black Velvet and Coke, my darlin' Irishman!, and here is a dollar for thee."

She walks over to the line, and drains her glass...
          "To warm fireplaces, and good friends, and a gentler form of hedonism!
 May there forever be people and myths who understand the value of these all"
   
                            ***CRASH***
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
lupine@pawl.rpi.edu
                                              peace love and chocolate
                                              hedonism is the watchword

From snoopy@kumquat.ucsb.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:51 1989
From: snoopy@kumquat.ucsb.edu (Smith, Jamie Lynn)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Another Official hello
Date: 14 Nov 89 18:48:11 GMT
Reply-To: snoopy@kumquat.UUCP (Smith)
Organization: University of California, Santa Barbara
Status: O

In article <4339@hplabsz.HPL.HP.COM> sartin@hplabs.hp.com (Rob Sartin) writes:
>In article <2949@hub.UUCP> snoopy@fig.UUCP (Smith) writes:
>>dissappeared in the crowd and reappeared as he jumped up and stood upon a
>>bar stool.
>Clearly, Jamie is actually Spider Robinson in disguise.  Cleverly
>inserted in her story was the contradiction that appears in every (?)
>Callahan's story.  As we all now, Callahan's has no bar stools.

Clearly, I need to read these books!  Ok, Snoopy jumps up on the counter-top
and gives the bartender a $1 for root-beer.  Then he makes his toast to beagles,
throws the mug in the fireplace, and falls asleep on the counter-top. :-)
Notice... he doesn't use a bar stool!

In walks a short but cute brunette with an enormous backpack having a patch on
it that says "Engineer".  She is wearing a UCSB cap, and is carrying a keyboard
under her left arm.  "Anybody seen my German Shepherd?", she says.  "He's real
short, is dressed as a WWI Flying Ace, and thinks he's a Beagle.  He answers
to the name of Snoopy.  Oh, hello, there he is .... snoozing, of course."

She walks over to the counter, nudges Snoopy, who responds by jumping off
the counter and heeling at her side.

"Bartender, a coka-cola for everyone in the place!"  She places a wad of bills
on the counter, takes her coke, and sits on a couch (Callahans has couches,
right?) by the fire, with Snoopy lying down at her feet.  :-)

Ok, pun.... I need a pun... Let's see, maybe I can byte into this assignment
by ..... huh.  Ok, puns aren't my speciality.  Oh, well. :-)
>Rob

Jamie
---
****************** The World War One Flying Ace *************************
* "I'll get you some day, Red Baron!"  --- Snoopy    | Jamie Lynn Smith *
* "|!| !!! |!||! |||!!||!  ||!|!||!|"  --- Woodstock | CS ugrad at UCSB *
********************************* mail to snoopy@cornu.ucsb.edu *********

From stadnism@image.soe!clutx.clarkson.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:52 1989
From: stadnism@image.soe!clutx.clarkson.edu (Steven Stadnicki,9B23 Woodstock,2680000,5186432664)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: is this Robinson stuff?
Date: 14 Nov 89 19:03:24 GMT
Reply-To: stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu
Organization: Clarkson University, Potsdam, NY
Status: O

Here's a piece that floated around a few groups about 2 weeks ago; it
struck me as being remarkably like the intro of the Minicon speech in
TTSC, and I was wondering if anyone knows whether this is a Robinson
piece?

(ObToast: to friends of the E kind)

>From: rev@gem.mps.ohio-state.edu (Michael Shapiro)
>Message-ID: <235@function.mps.ohio-state.edu>
>Date: 31 Oct 89 01:20:44 GMT
>Reply-To: rev@function.mps.ohio-state.edu ()
>
>
>
>
>                                 four                                 
>                            rap for juggler                           
>
>    (c) rev etc - may be reproduced for non-commercial purposes   
>
>     Four score and seven years ago - but of course before you 
>forescore, you usually fore*play* - our forefathers - wait a 
>minute, I don't have four fathers, I only have one father, must be 
>our four (um) greatgrandfathers - brought forth upon this 
>continent - now wait a minute, if they were continent, they didn't 
>bring forth anything at all.  They must've been *in*continent.  
>You gotta let go of those fluids... - So *anyway*, our four great 
>grandfathers pulled back their foreskins  (wasn't there a vocal 
>group called the Four Skins?) *any*way. our four great 
>grandfathers pulled back their foreskins, foreplayed, forescored, 
>became incontinent, and brought forth a (damn'!) nation, concieved 
>- well of course it was concieved, though to be honest about 
>things it was really our four great grandmothers who did all the 
>broughting forth, which'll show you how much credit *labor* gets 
>in this country.... well, anyway, they were dedicated.  Dedicated 
>to the proposition - Now this is getting a little mixed up: first 
>we foreplay, then we forescore, then we bring forth, then we 
>concieve, and only *now* we get around to the proposition?  I 
>dunno.  And in this proposition all men are created equal.  -  Oh, 
>I see, the four great grandfathers pulled back their foreskins to 
>see if they were created equal. -  We are now engaged.  Great!  In 
>a struggle.  - Well, I bet it's a struggle if *that's* how you go 
>about it. -  To see how long we can endure each other.  So pull 
>back those foreskins and remember to give that last (thimble) full 
>measure.  But remember, if we can't endure it, the world will not 
>long remember what we say here today.
>     Thank you.
>
>     --------------------------------------------------------     
>rev etc sends out strange things from box 02024, columbus oh 43202
>     --------------------------------------------------------     

                         Steven Stadnicki
                         stadnism@clutx.clarkson.edu
                        "Not to sound too dramatic,
                         but you are one of the net's chosen."

From jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 06:16:53 1989
From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: <PUN ALERT> Music
Date: 14 Nov 89 19:30:06 GMT
Reply-To: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle)
Distribution: alt
Organization: or, conversely, Chaos:
Status: O

[They finally newgrouped it here! And there was much rejoicing...]

She walks in, dressed in varying shades of blue and green which complement her
one green eye and her one blue eye. Of course, the really striking thing about
Ria (for so she is called) is the large snake like creature wrapped around her 
waist, his smiling face nestled on her shoulder. In the claw at the end of his
body is a large aquamarine gemstone that one can almost see lines running 
through. "A free round..." she thinks aloud. "I'll try my best..."

  Once Pan, the god of wine, women and song, went down in disguise to visit
  the people of Greece. He was always looking for entertainment. He walked
  into a local bar, sat down, and ordered. "Bring me your most unusual 
  spirit." he said to the barkeep. "One that I'm not likely to have tasted."
  The man set down a small glass of a clear fluid in front of Pan, who downed
  it in one sip. It tasted of black licorice, and thrilled Pan no end. He let
  his disguise fall, and praised the barkeep. "May you and your family 
  prosper forever!" he cried. "Oh, mighty Pan!" said the barkeep. "You must
  let me do more for you! From now on, this liquid shall be known by your name:
  I will call it... Panozzo."

And so Ria, with Muse on her shoulder, sat back and waited...
-- 
                         "I can't -- I have rehearsal."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Jennifer Doyle   //   Princeton  '92   //   jmdoyle@phoenix.princeton.edu  
Disclaimer: I am a student, I represent the future.

From scott@csusac.csus.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:54 1989
From: scott@csusac.csus.edu (L. Scott Emmons)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Another Official hello
Date: 15 Nov 89 00:24:38 GMT
Reply-To: scott@csusac.UUCP (L. Scott Emmons)
Organization: California State University, Sacramento
Status: O

In article <3015@hub.UUCP> snoopy@kumquat.UUCP (Smith) writes:
>Clearly, I need to read these books!  Ok, Snoopy jumps up on the counter-top
> [...]
>Notice... he doesn't use a bar stool!

Yes, everyone ought to read these books (in my opinion, of course!)

While Callahan's doesn't have bar stools, it does have arm-chairs (Mike
Callahan says that "a man should be comfortable when he drinks" [Note that
he once got in a bit of trouble for not saying "person" instead of "man",
but that's another story])

-- 
			L. Scott Emmons
			uucp: ...[!ucbvax]!ucdavis!csusac!scott

From usenet@cps3xx.UUCP Thu Nov 16 06:16:54 1989
From: usenet@cps3xx.UUCP (Usenet file owner)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: <PUN ALERT> Music
Date: 14 Nov 89 02:42:10 GMT
Reply-To: stockton@frith.UUCP (Ronald G Stockton)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Engineering, Michigan State University, E. Lansing
Status: O

In article <42425@bu-cs.BU.EDU> cerebus@bucsf.bu.edu (Tim Miller) writes:
>
>	This kind of of punning really Styx in my craw.  Of course, I
>engage in it too; I just have Too Much Time on My Hands.  Sitting here with
>nothing better to do, I start to feel like A Man in the Wilderness.  No
>human contact, so I turn to the net for company....
>
Hey, DeYoung fellow is making puns out of one of my favorite groups.
Well, I'm going to Shaw him I appreciate the effort by making a toast
at the end of this posting. In the meantime, however, let's not let
this pun fest die down--after all, the night is still Young.

(BTW, I'll buy the next round for anyone who can fit the name "Panozzo"
 into a pun.)

 And now...the toast:
 To the great musicians everywhere, and to all the joy
 they bring to the people who listen.
 * CRASH *
---------------------------------------------------------------
An idea is not responsible for  | Greg Stockton
the people who believe in it.   | stockton@frith.egr.msu.edu
---------------------------------------------------------------

From kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:55 1989
From: kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu (Ken Kaufman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: It's Riddle Night!
Date: 15 Nov 89 03:41:06 GMT
Reply-To: kaufman@gmu90x.UUCP (Ken Kaufman)
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Status: O

A short description for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of
reading "Pyotr's Story"  or "Involuntary Man's Laughter," Riddle Night
is another of those wonderful traditions at Callahan's.  A riddle-master
(the role I'll be performing tonight) creates a series of "riddle
puzzles" for the other patrons to solve.  Jake, through Spider, refers
to these as being in the "invisible idiot" format, where "invisible
idiot" translates to "Out of sight, out of mind."

Clues are separated by commas, unless they relate to different words,
in which case semicolons are the delimeters.  For example:
"large fish; luna, caviar" ==> "marlin; moon, roe" ==> "Marilyn Monroe."
As usual, beware of puns.

I will present four appropriate categories for this first Riddle Night,
each with six puzzles whose answers belong to the category.  (I warn
you, Category IV may be stretching things a bit, but I have faith in
your abilities.  Has anyone given Doc Webster an account?)  Between now
and 9 AM  on Tuesday November 21st, I will be awarding one point for
each correct answer or correct category identification to the first
person I receive it from, either via posting or email, with ties being
broken by timestamp.  The person winding up with the most points can be
the next riddle-master.

I'll post the answers next week.  And perhaps I will soon introduce
myself with a toast.

Enjoy!
Ken Kaufman (kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

		I
Tend, Assassin
AgaiNst, Alaska town, Myself
Cantaloupe, Lassie; Fitzgerald, Typefaces
Inform, Printer's measure, Trail
Spice; Less stale
Juice turkey; Not on; Detergent; Western trailers, Political speech; Planets

		II
Destroy; Color, Othello; Fake
Hanging rope; 28.4 grams; Limp
Wallop; Croon, Sea birds
Stop; Denominations; Secret agent, Rim
Policeman; Irritated, Female sibling; Didn't lose, Didn't lose or win
Converse; One dull speaker, Tibia

		III
Bovaries; Uno y uno
Spinners; Finn's creator, Joint
Sheep, Cuts
Churchill's gesture, Advanced Degree
Ship body, Kids' cereal
Callahan, Caviar, Knight, Judging panel

		IV
Scratch; Imbibe; Shorlines; In shape, Oolong; Detect
Gained; Barbie, Ancient town; Requests for payment; Possess, Jeans brand
Negative; Make like a happy cat, Ogling
At what time, remains; Driving expense; Formalwear; Darkness
Have access to a fact; Only, Bellows; Unrefined rocks; Law test; Feces
German meat; Wordplay, Budges; Beverages; Home run king; Archaic you; home

From ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu Thu Nov 16 06:16:55 1989
From: ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu (Duke McMullan n5gax)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: music
Date: 15 Nov 89 05:55:57 GMT
Reply-To: ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu.UUCP (Duke McMullan n5gax)
Organization: University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, NM
Keywords: Pun warning
Status: O

In article <73@bucsb.UUCP> gilly@bucsb.bu.edu (Gilly Rosenthol) writes:
>Well, Zach and I have been following this line for a while, and bassed
>on the latest few puns, we decided that it's time for the thread to
>be cleff in two.  We guitared of seeing all these electrical jokes, and
>we prefer music as a subject.  So all you musicians who think you can
>Handel it, come out of Haydn and add to the Liszt!  We can Chopansies
>like these who's better.  Come join the Frey!  But please, no violins -
>this *is* Callahan's Place.  Besides, not to blow our own horns, but -
>we'd lick you easily.  I can see you treble at the mere thought.  So
>hold down the forte, and I'll be back soon!

You guys don't stick at anything, do you? Are you trying to get us drummed
off the net? Well, you're heading in the right direction, just putting snares
out there for any unsuspecting person. I think you ought to just take a rest,
but I doubt you'll take note of that advice. If I were on the staff, I'd see
to it that the whole bunch of you were shut up; it would markedly change the
tenor of the newsgroup. Trying to take a bird's-eye view suggests to me that
we'd be doing well to stave off any attempts to continue this. We must conduct
ourselves with dignity: a proper coda behavior is essential to our continued
use of the net. We must march with pride, else we may as well collectively
waltz into the sunset. Unquestionably, the key to this is self dicipline. The
mode of our behavior must be exemplary -- we'll not string anyone along, though
many of us undoubtedly have the brass to do that.


					Shall I add a .key-signature?
								d


           Noreidel kommephen heirde amkirotad Foritrunen ashkeder!
     Duke McMullan n5gax nss13429r phon505-255-4642 ee5391aa@hydra.unm.edu

From mikegal@microsoft.UUCP Thu Nov 16 06:16:56 1989
From: mikegal@microsoft.UUCP (Michael Galos)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Re: Intimacy? Hmm...
Date: 16 Nov 89 09:51:03 GMT
Reply-To: mikegal@microsoft.UUCP (Michael Galos)
Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA
Keywords: friendship, puns, duplicates, and other indoor sports
Status: O

<Crash><Crash><Crash><Crash>

A few more toasts like that and Piotr will be driving us all home.

Ah, one more...To Sharing <Crash>

Shared pain and shared joy.

From ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu Thu Nov 16 19:46:02 1989
From: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Well, it's time...
Date: 16 Nov 89 11:34:22 GMT
Reply-To: ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu (Christopher Davis)
Distribution: alt
Organization: Boston University School of Management
Status: O

I suppose I should start showing up more often, after having sent out the
newgroup messages and all that...

A young man walks through the door, wearing grey pants, grey sneakers, and
a blue "Phoenix in '93" WorldCon bid T-shirt.  The backpack slung over his
right shoulder marks him as a college student, but the slide rule poking
out of it seems a bit...silly, perhaps?  He walks up to the bar, greeting
Mike with a nod, as he is served his traditional root-beer float.  He sits
down, drains the root beer, eats the ice cream, then prepares his toast...

  "To loneliness."

  He says the words softly as he hurls the mug into the fireplace.

He sits down at a nearby table, setting his backpack on the floor.

"Y'ever have one of those weeks--or months--when nothing went right?  Or
what *did* go right wasn't enough to notice?  Then you know the feeling.
I've got a friend who's lonely too, and we both need hugs, but our
schedules never seem to mesh; and it'll never be more than friendship,
which isn't to denigrate friends, but you know how it is sometimes...  I've
got another friend 3,000 miles away who I've never met, but that I deeply
care about and wish the best... and I've got alt.callahans, but even the
most heartfelt net.*hug* doesn't always do the job."

"There is one benefit of the net.callahans, though; the hours.  Look at the
time stamp on this message, fiddle with the GMT-to-EST conversion, and when
you arrive at 6:30am... well... no real-world bar would be open.  And no
sane person would still be awake."

"Such is life, though.  I won't sleep tonight--what's left of it, that
is--because I have work at 9.  I don't know if I'll sleep tomorrow night,
either; my back says 'fat chance' unless I get a backrub."

"Sure am glad y'all like the place, though.  Good to see a crowd.  PEOPLE.
*FRIENDS*."

He picks up an empty glass from the table, walks to the line, and says:

 "To friends, both near and far, both met and unmet.  Hail!"
-- 
 Christopher Davis, BU SMG '90  <ckd@bu-pub.bu.edu> <smghy6c@buacca.bitnet>
 "Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand."

From brandyt@microsoft.UUCP Thu Nov 16 19:46:22 1989
From: brandyt@microsoft.UUCP (Brandy Thorpe)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A Toast!
Date: 16 Nov 89 20:14:01 GMT
Organization: Microsoft Corp., Redmond WA
Keywords: strongest magic personas
Status: O

To the strongest magic!           <Crash>

First, let me say that I feel as if I am treading on very tender ground, and
that I do not mean any flames, finger pointing or anything else negative.  
This is how I feel about a certain subject, and I by no means think that this
is the ONLY opinion.

Whether or not Callahan's Saloon ever existed in any other place than Spider's
books, what we are trying to build here is _real_.  I would like whole people
to visit.  I know the comfort using a persona can give, but I do not visit
Electronic Callahan's to get to know more personas, I visit to give my
persona weary heart and soul a rest.

I do not mean that imaginative beings are not welcome.  I would have Electric
Callahans be a magic place.  But there is more than one kind of magic.  There
is the magic that is contained in a well written story or a really stinky pun,
and there is the magic that comes only when humans, with all their weaknesses,
faults and emotions can find a way to mingle souls.  This (IMHO) was the
strongest magic of the Callahan's in Spider's books, and this is what I
crave from Electronic Callahan's.

Please tell my how you'all feel..

                                                  --- Brandy

From kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu Thu Nov 16 19:46:23 1989
From: kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu (Ken Kaufman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Riddle Night Winners and Answers
Date: 16 Nov 89 16:19:56 GMT
Reply-To: kaufman@gmu90x.UUCP (Ken Kaufman)
Organization: George Mason University, Fairfax, Va.
Summary: a bit early
Status: O

You guys are good!  Between the bunch of you, you've knocked off my
blackboard full of fun, so I'll post the answers earlier than originally
planned (after the ^L, so that anyone who wants to keep working on them
won't have them spoiled; meanwhile, keep those cards and liters coming!)

First the accolades for a few of the top performances (it should be
noted that every single person who submitted answers did a really good
job, and at least got a few right.  Come by and claim your drinks.)

The early-bird special goes to a patron going by the name of Shadow, who
cleared about a third of the board before many of you were even seated.
(In order to simulate a blackboard with answers going up, I had to give
the actual points to the first correct answers; nonetheless, those who
figured the whole set out independently deserve oodles of credit.
Speaking of which:)

Closest to a clean sweep of the board goes to William Somsky, who not
only cracked the surprisingly elusive category II and discovered the
complete answer to IV(5), he even half-stumbled over the answer to I(5) when
he had no idea.

And BD from Ohio State deserves a few glasses in the fireplace for being
the first to figure IV(5) out and for (along with Gary at Clarkson)
snuffing out the stinker inherent in III(6).

But first prize, with only 3 misses, and breaking open categories II and
III with a near-sweep and a complete sweep, not to mention his
outsmarting the Riddle-Master on II(5) (see below) goes to Marc Shapiro
(m6s@PSUVM.BITNET).  You want to run the next one?

And now for answers and analyses (SPOILERS below) ...
Ken Kaufman (kaufman@gmu90x.gmu.edu)


I:  Books by Spider Robinson.  I was lenient and allowed "stories",
"non-Callahan books" (that holds true), and even "novels", which three
of them aren't.  But that shouldn't affect scores ...

>Tend, Assassin
 ==> Mind, Killer ==> Mindkiller

>Against, Alaska town, Myself
 ==> Anti, Nome, Me/I ==> Antinomy

>Cantaloupe, Lassie; Fitzgerald, Typefaces
 ==> Melon, Collie; Ella, Fonts ==> Melancholy Elephants.
	Nearly everyone got this one right.

>Inform, Printer's measure, Trail
 ==> Tell, Em, Path ==> Telempath

>Spice; Less stale
 ==> Thyme; Fresher ==> Time Pressure

>Juice turkey; Not on; Detergent; Western trailers, Political speech; Planets
 ==> Baste; Off; All; Posse, Bull; Worlds ==> Best of all Possible Worlds
	Unfortunately out of print.


II:  I'm surprised this one stumped so many of you, as only two
respondants followed on this "Grand Tour of USENET" ...

>Destroy; Color, Othello; Fake
 ==> Wreck; Hue, Moor; Phony ==> rec.humor.funny
	#1 on the arbitron hit parade.

>Hanging rope; 28.4 grams; Limp
 ==> Noose; An ounce; Impotent ==> news.announce.important

>Wallop; Croon, Sea birds
 ==> Sock; Sing, Gulls ==> soc.singles

>Stop; Denominations; Secret agent, Rim
 ==> Halt; Sects; Bond, Edge ==> alt.sex.bondage

>Policeman; Irritated, Female sibling; Didn't lose, Didn't lose or win
 ==> Cop; Sore, Sis; Won, Tied ==> comp.sources.wanted
	Except Marc found (and got a bonus karma point for):
	==> Cop; Soft, Sys; Won, Drew ==> comp.soft-sys.andrew
	I was trying to be a bit less obscure.

>Converse; One dull speaker, Tibia
 ==> Talk; A bore, shin ==> talk.abortion


III:  Operating systems of one type or another ...

>Bovaries; Uno y uno
 ==> Emmas; Dos ==> MS/DOS
	Should I be proud of how few of you got this one compared to
	the next few?

>Spinners; Finn's creator, Joint
 ==> Tops; Twain, Knee ==> TOPS-20
	Nobody seemed confused as to which Finn.

>Sheep, Cuts
 ==> Ewe; Nicks ==> UNIX

>Churchill's gesture, Advanced Degree
 ==> Vee, M.S. ==> VMS

>Ship body, Kids' cereal
 ==> Hull, Trix ==> ULTRIX

>Callahan, Caviar, Knight, Judging panel
 ==> Mike, Roe, Sir, Jury ==> Microsurgery
	After all, there have been bookstores who've placed OS books
	under Medicine.  And you've got to admit, it *is* an operating
	system.


IV:  House rules at Callahans ...

>Scratch; Imbibe; Shorlines; In shape, Oolong; Detect
 ==> Itch; Drink; Coasts; Fit, Tea; Sense ==> Each drink costs 50 cents.

>Gained; Barbie, Ancient town; Requests for payment; Possess, Jeans brand
 ==> Won; Doll, Ur; Bills; Own, Lee ==> $1 Bills only
	Many tripped over the right ancient town, but got it anyhow.

>Negative; Make like a happy cat, Ogling
 ==> No; Purr, Eyeing ==> No prying!

>At what time, remains; Driving expense; Formalwear; Darkness
 ==> When, Stays; Toll; Tails; Night ==> Wednesday's Tall Tales Night.

>Have access to a fact; Only, Bellows; Unrefined rocks; Law test; Feces
 ==> Know; Mere, Roars; Ore; Bar; Stools ==> No mirrors or bar-stools.
	Some only found one environmental requirement.

>German meat; Wordplay, Budges; Beverages; Home run king; Archaic you; Home
 ==> Wurst; Pun, Stirs; Drinks; Aaron; Thee; House
     ==> Worst punster's drinks are on the house.
	... but at least it never rains on Callahan's roof.

From jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:23 1989
From: jmdoyle@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jennifer Mary Doyle)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: a toast...
Date: 16 Nov 89 20:23:56 GMT
Distribution: usa
Organization: or, conversely, Chaos:
Status: O

Ria walks in with Muse around her waist, and also with a female friend. 
"Hello," Ria says. "This is Jen. I met her this summer. She needed to come here
so I brought her along." Jen orders a root beer in the heaviest mug Callahan 
has. After downing it quickly she hurls it into the fireplace. "To academia!"
she cries. 



-- 
                         "I can't -- I have rehearsal."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
   Jennifer Doyle   //   Princeton  '92   //   jmdoyle@phoenix.princeton.edu  
Disclaimer: I am a student, I represent the future.

From dtrindle@jarthur.Claremont.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:24 1989
From: dtrindle@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (D. J. Trindle)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: A Toast
Date: 16 Nov 89 22:32:46 GMT
Reply-To: dtrindle@jarthur.UUCP (D. J. Trindle)
Followup-To: alt.callahans
Distribution: usa
Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA
Keywords: A new face in the Place...
Summary: Gulp, <CRASH!>, tinkle
Status: O


	A young man shambles into the Place, cracking his forehead on the 
doorjamb in the process.  He wanders up to the bar, drops a dollar in front
of Mike, and receives a Bailey's in return.  Stalking up to the line, he 
downs his drink quickly, coughs once, and booms "To physics!"  The sound of
breaking glass seems to take something out of him.  He slowly returns to
the bar and exchanges another dollar for what looks like a couple of gallons
of Mountain Dew.  After immediately guzzling about a third of it, he ends up 
over by Fast Eddie's piano, requests "Maple Leaf Rag" and slumps in a chair.

After a bit, Mike says, "You have fifty cents coming, you know."  The young 
man looks up quickly at the sound of the big Irishman's voice, then says,
"I think I'll keep it this time around.  Laundry's starting to pile up."
Finishing his drink, he collects his change and heads for the door:  however,
before he gets there, he turns and says, "I'll be back.  After all, finals
are only a few weeks off..."  He spins and leaves quickly, bashing his 
forehead again on the way out.

							-D.J.T.

From zimerman@phoenix.Princeton.EDU Thu Nov 16 19:46:26 1989
From: zimerman@phoenix.Princeton.EDU (Jacob Ben-david Zimmerman)
Newsgroups: alt.callahans
Subject: Another weary traveler
Date: 16 Nov 89 23:02:00 GMT
Organization: Princeton University, NJ
Status: O

...<door opens, lets in a blast of cold air, and is quickly shut.>

Hello one, hello all.  I am yclept JB, and I'm definately in need of one
just now.  Mike, Bless me, if you would.  <lays single on bar.>  Thank
you kindly.  <Works his way through the drink, quickly.>  Aaah.
Ameliorating as usual.  <toes line.>

My friends, I was prepared to toast loneliness, but as I came in I heard
a fellow seeker propose that very one.  Therefore, I believe, I will
make mine...To EDUCATION!  <CRASHtinkletinkle>

You see, I myself am a seeker of higher education.  And I believe I've
finally gotten to the point where I love it!  I hunger for it, it's
something I'd do anything for...and I am to be kicked out of my
institution in a short three and a half semesters.  Graduated.  Eeccch.
So I propose this toast to those who wish they could stay forever, in
our own little reality bubbles, but realize they can't...and to the pain
that involves.  <grins.>  And, of course, to Mike and you all, who make
that sort of thing bearable.  And perhaps next drink, we'll talk about
loneliness.  Thank you, all.

-- 
___________           | MTV is the lava lamp of the 1990's.        
     ||               |       -An unknown MTV comedian                 
||   ||acob Zimmerman!+> <zimerman@phoenix.Princeton.EDU> INTERNET 
  ===                 |  <zimerman@PUCC>                  BITnet

